"A Hot Mess"

What is this new phrase? I’ve been hearing it a lot lately. I have no clue where it came from… probably some reality show or pop culture reference that I’ve missed while focusing my attention on blogs, Facebook, and general day dreaming.

I’m guessing that it’s a sexy way of covering up the truth of the matter, as in “f*cked up,” “bonkers,” and “kookoo bananas.” I think it’s mostly being used by men, who are themselves going through some “crazy” phase but can’t acknowledge it. Because this is a term relegated to women only. Especially women over thirty, as in cougars… cougars on the verge..women on the verge of a nervous breakdown (great movie by the way). Men aren’t crazy! Hell no. They are guilty of other things: working late, infuriatingly rational behavior, snoring, and not looking at maps. But messy behavior? The all over the place kind that scatters sense in a hundred directions? That’s our bag.

So I think men coined this term “hot mess” to soften the blow. A man can be messy, but when he is, it’s hot. It’s okay. It’s intriguing and attractive because he is showing vulnerability, and that’s unexpected. And women swoon when a man shows his soft messy side. Especially drunk at a bar (but not in the delivery room or after he’s lost his job).

The last thing I can think of, is that men came up with it because while they might criticize or reject “crazy” chicks, in reality, they freakin love it. They love that we are high on life one minute, and crying in broad daylight the next. They like when we speak openly about our mess, and then deny it an hour later. They want to reach out and save us when we are cloaked in it, and don’t necessarily know what to do with us when we have it all together. Because apparently, crazy is hot. It’s the new mess.