There’s this word called “subtext” that I first heard in a writing class, although it happens constantly in life – in our day to day conversations. Subtext is meaning or intention that lies beneath the surface; when we don’t say what we feel, but it’s kinda obvious to the person on the receiving end. And with the advent of texting, it’s become even more flagrant, especially in the dating world.

Here are some examples of incoming texts, where the dude thinks he’s keeping his true intentions – the subtext – well hidden. (P.S. the text below is always from a guy unless otherwise noted):

Text: Hi.
Subtext:  What are you doing?

Text:  You around later?
Subtext:  Wanna fuck?

Text: How things?
Subtext: I miss you.

Text:  In ur hood…grabbin beers with some buddies.
Subtext: I’m 19.

Text: Missed your call. Was in a meeting.
Subtext: I’m important and make lots of money and can take care of you so don’t worry.

Text: You hungry?
Subtext: I’m bored (Or: Wanna fuck?)

Text: oh hey! good to hear from you! how u been?

Subtext: I deleted your number from my phone and have no clue who’s texting me.

Subtext: Mom got a blackberry.

Text: Last night was hot!
Subtext: Now what?

Text: What’re you wearing?
Subtext: This flirting stage is getting old.

Text:  Ugh sorry Verizon sux.
Subtext: Stop texting me bitch.

Text:  How’s your day?
Subtext: I want to see you later and am hoping you’ll respond but I’m too much of a p*ssy to just come out and say it.

Text: Omw, in can.
Subtext: On my way, in cab.

Text: Cant wait to see you! Yay!!!
Subtext: I’m gay.

Text: I’m back in town.
Subtext: Wanna fuck?

I could go on and on, but I think I’ve made my point.
(Subtext: I’m trying to sound modest, but I what I really hope is that this post made you laugh.)
6 replies
  1. optimistically pessimistic
    optimistically pessimistic says:

    how about texts from the ex bf’s?
    text: hi there. we still friends?
    subtext: wanna fuck?

    text: would love to catch up. maybe grab coffee or drink sometime?
    subtext: wanna fuck?

    text: congrats on your engagement!
    subtext: wanna fuck?

  2. Nicanor
    Nicanor says:

    text: LOL!
    subtext: I’m not as witty as you think, nor do i want to waste the time to come up with a witty response. at this point i wanted to see if you’d invite me over so i could fuck you but it’s getting late, i’m tired from a long night of drinking, done with texting and will probably just watch some porn, rub one out then pass out on the couch.

  3. Cougel
    Cougel says:

    Nic! Gasp! My mother reads this blog, remember? And I’m trying to get her to like gays!
    Subtext: I’m not really trying that hard. And it’s never gonna happen.


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