Why we “goggle.” Crushing out when under the influence. And it’s not just because of beer.

I always liked the term “beer goggles,” since I heard it back in college. The notion that our perception of another person is enhanced due to alcoholic intake was not only interesting, but absolutely true. I tried those goggles on often. They were dispensed at the frat house like… other things… and they not only made the nerdy guy from my dorm more attractive, but it boosted his confidence too. Nothing wrong with that, right? But more importantly, these experiences taught me that context plays a role. The situation in which we meet someone, and the lens through which we view them (expectations and our surroundings), matters big time.

Some examples of goggling:

1. Business class goggles: the tan cheese-ball who can afford a business class seat is much hotter than he would be sitting in coach (which is where you’re headed).

2. Wedding goggles: how many of you guys have tried to hook up with a bridesmaid at a wedding, or even the groom’s sister, when you would never glance at her at a local bar?

3. Writer in café goggles: (tip: facial hair and a pocket Nietzsche in public view help.)

4. Forbidden fruit goggles: someone else’s boyfriend or husband, especially when they appear happy together.

5. Whole Foods goggles: there is something about the guy perusing aisle five, thoughtfully contemplating what to cook for dinner, with the emo soundtrack crooning over the speakers, that makes my heart flutter.
6. Guy in fancy car at traffic light goggles.
7. Office goggles: when you’re around the same people for ten hours a day, even the short dude with the pencil neck starts to look good.
8. Dad with baby Bjorn while carrying groceries goggles: the baby has to actually be in the Bjorn though, smiling back at dad as the sun dances along their flaxen hair.
9. Bat-mitzvah goggles: no, no, no, not the tweens. I’m talking about the single parents attending.

10. Carpenter hanging my shelves goggles (toolbox not necessary).

There are also the more obvious ones like Bartender goggles, Weatherman goggles, and Memory goggles (high school crush you haven’t seen but he’s still hot in your head). And in my case, non-Jewish guy goggles, or, goygles. Any other prescriptions?