Every Cougel needs a fur for the winter

In my parents attempt to “dress me up nice,” they came into the city to take me out for dinner and offered to buy me some new “classy” clothes. My dad smiled and shook his finger at me, “No more of this rock and roll, college look, it’s attracting the wrong guys.”

By wrong guys, I’m pretty sure my dad meant “boys, in their 20s, who can’t take care of you like I can.” Meaning, if you’re going to stop dating young cubs, and start attracting older (aka established aka rich) men, well then it’s time to shed those frayed Cougel layers (shmatas) and put on outerwear that’s more upscale. “Especially in the winter, when you live in New York, and your coat is all people see. You need a fur coat.”

Well, how could I argue with them? It makes my parents happy to help out, to find a way to take care of me, now that I don’t need the help any longer. I wouldn’t want to deny them of the pleasure.

Besides, doesn’t every cougel need a good fur?

My mom got right on it. Now that she’s learned how to google (I know, it rhymes with cougel… and yes, I already tried to google “cougel” and nothing shows up, not even this blog) she can find wholesalers in the garment district by the hundreds. She can also email her friends, who now also have email, and who have birthed their own little cougels and bought furs for them too (at a discount, of course). I love my mother. I love her even more now that she knows how to email me, and that sometimes she mixes Hebrew in with her broken English. And I love that she’s thankfully figured out how to keep only the things she wants to make sure I hear in CAPS, rather than yelling at me the whole time.

So after this dinner with my parents, after my dad paid the bill and we put on our coats (my shabby fake fur one that I bought 2nd hand on the lower east side, which prompted my mom to shield her eyes), it was decided. An hour later, when my parents got home, she sent me this email:

* Spoke to Rivi, about furs. she bought for Tamar, at Lord and Talyor, a cashmere long coat. she gave me a name of an whole saler fur store. in the 20’s the name is MOHL fURS. THEY HAVE A SALE .
i will check it on the web.
Love, Ema *

I have yet to get to this fur store. I’m putting it off, hoping that spring will come around and I can wait until next year. When I can afford to buy one for myself. Or, acknowledge the truth. That I don’t really want one. That expensive, real, fur coats just “aren’t me,” and get up the gutts to tell my parents. And break their hearts.

Tough call. What would you do?

stacey says:

February 18, 2010 at 4:28 am

don’t buy the real fur. i don’t know how it is in NY and trust me… when i was a child all i wanted was a “real” rabbit fur coat. (makes me cringe now) but really if you want to stay warm and fashionable…there are other options. google other options before you buy real. im no vegetarian or vegan and yes i eat meat but do we really have to wear their fur? xo

Ruthie says:

February 18, 2010 at 10:39 pm

What type of man would you attract in your 30s wearing a fur coat? That might be a sociological experiment worth conducting just on its own scientific merit.

selah says:

February 20, 2010 at 12:40 am

at least your parents offer to buy you a new coat, mine just offer potential husbands (see the email below that i received from my ema yesterday)… i’d rather they offered me the coat. either way, if your parents are anything like mine, you don’t have much of a choice… take the coat, or prepare to never hear the end of it.

Hi Bubah,

I was hoping you will stop by. Seems like you never visit without invitation. well there are lots of oranges and there was good lox, but is now gone.

Sweetie, I sent some of your pictures to Asaf. This is the guy we met at the Bat Mitzvah of Shimon’s daughter. He seems really nice. Inside and outside. According to Shimon, he is “Chaval al Hazman.” He sent some pictures back. In life he is more handsome. I am forwarding his pictures as well as the ones I sent him of you . He asked for your phone number. May I give it to him? It is even better if you do. Don’t be shy. Go and meet. There is no obligation of any kind and nothing to loose. Be cool about it. You might have good time. It is always good to meet new people. This is the age of networking and webbing.

Stop by sometime. Love you. Mom.